Meaningful Relationships Across Generations Can Be a Win for All

🌻 Meaningful Relationships Across Generations Can Be a Win for All

“Meaningful, purposeful relationships between young and old result in a dual win: they help youth develop their own sense of self-worth and meaning, while enriching the lives of older adults who contribute to the well-being of upcoming generations.”

– Stanford Center on Longevity, 2016 (p.17)

Meaningful intergenerational relationships – connections between young and old – can be a win for all and are an overlooked resource in the United States.

Over 75 years ago, the landmark Harvard Longitudinal Study of Adult Development began studying more than 700 men, later expanding to include women. Remarkably, this research has shown over time that adults who engage in meaningful relationships with younger generations are more likely to feel happier, less stressed, and more optimistic than others without these relationships (Waldinger, 2015; 2022; Newberry, 2023).

So what? Noted psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner, PhD, a founder of the Head Start preschool program, is quoted as saying “Every child needs at least one adult who is irrationally crazy about him or her” (Stanford Center on Longevity, 2016). In their 2016 monograph, the Stanford University Center on Longevity reviews the research and outlines three important components to strengthen young people’s ability to flourish:

– Good mental health and emotional well-being cultivated throughout their lives by social interactions, support, and learning from others who possess these skills.
– Having a sense of purpose in life.
– Meaningful, caring, and robust social connections to help them learn key skills for optimal development and success.

😊Evidence clearly shows the positive benefits of pairing young and old in meaningful relationships (Stanford Center on Longevity, 2016). Robust and caring relationships are linked to greater resilience, wellbeing, and health for people at all ages and stages of life. There are many needs and skills that cannot be gained in books, social media or the Internet, but that can be boosted via intergenerational relationships.

According to the Stanford Center on Longevity (2016), the benefits of meaningful connections between young and old are often not recognized, such as sharing wisdom learned through life’s experiences, social and emotional intelligences, and the fact that many mature adults are highly motivated by a desire to give back to others.

There’s never been a more important time to think about the mutual benefits of intergenerational relationships. You might be surprised to know that since 2015, the U.S. is home to more people over age 60 than under 18 (Friedman, 2021). And the population over age 60 is a rich and untapped resource. Today’s American population is not simply living longer, they are healthier cognitively, physically, and emotionally than previous generations. In addition, mature adults can share a wealth of skills such as problem solving, critical thinking and social-emotional intelligence that enable them to make meaningful contributions to younger generations.

“As a young adult you can solve problems quickly, as you get older, you know which problems are worth solving.”

– Harvard Professor, Arthur Brooks, “From Strength to Strength” (2022)

In his groundbreaking model of human psychological development, Erik Erikson was the first to describe generativity, which typically unfolds in midlife and older adulthood, and involves supporting the wellbeing of future generations (Malone, et al, 2016; Erikson, 1963). Older adults are well-suited to mentor and help younger people, sharing knowledge, wisdom, and ideas, such as navigating the challenges of daily life, conflicts, relationships, social skills, decision-making, and perspective-taking.

Robert Waldinger, PhD, director of the Harvard Longevity Study asks how we can build our “social fitness” (2022). Relationships don’t just happen. We need to seek them out, tend to them, and take care of them. How can we promote healthy relationships between generations? Perhaps the first step is to simply be aware of their mutual benefits and watch for opportunities to engage in healthy and meaningful ways with people – not only of our own age, but with those folks younger and older than we are.

Relationships of similar ages and across ages – relationships with friends, family, acquaintances, communities – can strengthen our wellbeing and happiness. Healthy, meaningful relationships between young and old can be mutually beneficial in helping all generations flourish and develop toward their purpose and potential. And on a large scale in a systems-wide way, more substantive and effective programs need to be developed to accomplish this outcome.

What can you do? In your own life and community, how can you get more involved in intergenerational service with youth and/or young adults?

Do you take the initiative to safely reach out to others beyond your own age group? You might want to establish some routines that increase opportunities to engage with others intergenerationally, as well as in your own age group. Dr. Robert Waldinger suggests getting more comfortable simply starting up casual interactions with others during your day (Waldinger, 2022). For example, pausing to say hello or having a brief conversation with someone you meet when you’re taking a walk, at the grocery store, sharing a meal, or connecting with others around shared interests.

To engage with others of different ages, you might seek opportunities to volunteer through local organizations, such as: a local teen center, township office, senior center, religious organizations, scouting, school programs, tutoring at a local library or school, or getting involved in special programs.

Engaging in intergenerational relationships can be transformative for young and old across generations. How might you help to make a positive difference?

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. No content is a substitute for consulting with a qualified mental health or healthcare professional.

© 2025 Ilene Berns-Zare, LLC, All Rights Reserved

An earlier version of this material was published at Psychology Today.

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References:

• Brooks, A. (2022). From Strength to Strength: Finding success, happiness and deep purpose in the second half of life.  New York, NY: Portfolio Publishing.
• Erikson, E. H. (1963). Childhood and society (Vol. 2). New York, NY: Norton.
• Friedman, H.A. Center for Aging, Washington University in St. Louis. (April 22, 2021). Realizing the potential of longer life: The new “Longevity Economy” – 2021 Friedman Lecture & Awards Summary.
• Kessler, E.-M., & Staudinger, U. M. (2007). Intergenerational potential: Effects of social interaction between older adults and adolescents. Psychology and Aging, 22(4), 690–704.
• Malone, J. C., Liu, S. R., Vaillant, G. E., Rentz, D. M., & Waldinger, R. J. (2016). Midlife Eriksonian psychosocial development: Setting the stage for late-life cognitive and emotional health. Developmental psychology, 52(3), 496.
• Newberry, L. (2023). What We’re Missing Out on When We Don’t Have Intergenerational Relationships, Personally and Professionally. 
• Stanford Center on Longevity. (2016). Hidden In Plain Sight: How intergenerational relationships can transform our future. 
• Welcome to the Harvard Study of Adult Development (2015).
• Waldinger, R. (2022). TED – 7 Years Later: Harvard Study of Adult Development.

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