Resilience, Spirituality, & Connection

🪷 Resilience, Spirituality, & Connection:
The Oxygen of Our Lives

Many of us would like to be more resilient and feel connected to a larger sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.

Not long ago, my community lost a dear elder friend, who I believe exemplified a life of resilience, purpose, and connection. When she retired from her second career in older adulthood, one speaker called her a legend and many attendees, including this writer, nodded their heads in knowing agreement. Why? Our friend was truly a standout human. For many of us, she was a role model for living life to the fullest – living life with love, integrity, tenacity, and vigor.

In my view, among her many remarkable attributes, she was a resilience rock star! Like most of us, her life was not always easy. Yet when life was tough, she mustered up her resilience – during her long life she had learned how to take the hits and then get back up. I’ll add here, for anyone who follows baseball, that she was an avid Chicago Cubs fan – a choice that likely taught her many life lessons on bouncing back when things aren’t going your way.

I don’t know for sure what she called on within herself to live with so much vibrancy and to fuel her amazing capacity to respond to adversity. From my vantage point, she seemed to have developed strong alignment between her inner self and her external actions, and I believe this alignment was integral to how she lived.

✨ She seemed quietly aware of being part of something larger than herself as evidenced by her resilience, her acute moral compass, her remarkable participation and contributions to community, and her sense of meaning and purpose. A great listener, a strong, trusted leader and role model, a friend to many of all ages, she engaged her life with vigor, love, actionable hope, and community engagement.

I believe that one among many factors that sustained our friend was spirituality. Lisa Miller, PhD, author of The Awakened Brain: The New Science of Spirituality and Our Quest for an Inspired Life defines spirituality broadly as an inner experience of relationship with a higher power that is in some way loving and guiding (2021). Spirituality does not require “God language” but rather can be seen as a search for relationship with the sacred or some ultimate meaning or purpose (Niemiec, et al, 2020; Pargament & Cummings, 2010). And this search is unique for each of us.

Spirituality can help us through the joys and difficult circumstances of our lives, and offers possibilities to experience a sense of connectedness beyond the individual. Spiritual experiences of many kinds offer pathways for growth and powerful discoveries along the way. Scientific research has shown that spirituality is a universal character strength linked to wellbeing and a protective factor in adjusting to challenging life experiences (Manning, 2014; Niemiec, et al 2020).

Thus, it’s not surprising that accumulating research is showing how spirituality and resilience can come together to help people navigate life challenges and create a trajectory toward wellbeing in the face of life’s adversities. Studies show links between spirituality and happiness, well-being, meaning, and social connection (Howard, et al, 2023; Manning 2014; Niemiec, et al, 2020).

Many would agree that we humans are by nature part of the great wholeness of the universe. When our friend spoke, her words brought meaning to the silence and the noise, and when she didn’t speak, it felt meaningful to be in the quiet of her companionship and vibrant spirit.

🫶 She is greatly missed by many. Yet we will carry the memories, learnings, and inspirations we gained from knowing her with us, forever.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. No content is a substitute for consulting with a qualified mental health or healthcare professional.

© 2025 Ilene Berns-Zare, LLC, All Rights Reserved

Send your comments and suggestions to Ilene!
Click here to send Ilene an email with your thoughts about this blog post.

References:

• Howard, A. H., Roberts, M., Mitchell, T., & Wilke, N. G. (2023).  The relationship between spirituality and resilience and well-being: A study of 529 care leavers from 11 nations. Adversity and Resilience Science, 4(2), 177-190.
• Manning, L. K. (2014). Enduring as lived experience: Exploring the essence of spiritual resilience for women in late life. Journal of Religion and Health, 53, 352-362.
• Miller, L. (2021). The awakened brain: The new science of spirituality and our quest for an inspired life. New York, NY: Random House.
• Miller, L. (2016). The spiritual child: The new science on parenting for health and lifelong thriving. New York, NY: Macmillan.
• Niemiec, R. M., Russo-Netzer, P., & Pargament, K. I. (2020). The decoding of the human spirit: A synergy of spirituality and character strengths toward wholeness. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 2040.
• Pargament, K.T. & Cummings, J. (2010). Anchored by faith: Religion as a resilience factor. In: Handbook of Adult Resilience.  J.W., Zautra, A.J., & Hall, J.S. (Eds.). New York, NY: Guilford Press, 193-210.
• Stewart-Brown, S. (2018). Resilience and the role of spirituality. Bhugra, D., Bhui, K., Wong, S. Y. S., & Gilman, S. E. (Eds.). Oxford textbook of public mental health. Oxford University Press. DOI: 10.1093/med/ 9780198792994.001.0001

Ilene is a Featured Author on PsychologyToday!
Read her blog series Flourish and Thrive: Navigating transitions with mindfulness and resilience.

Please share this blog with anyone who might be interested in reading it!

We would love to hear from you! We are interested in your suggestions for this newsletter, your reactions to this one, or providing more information about coaching.