Intuition and Friendship

Co-Written by Dr. Ilene Berns-Zare and Dr. Lisa Kaplin

Have you ever had a hunch or random thought that you ignored? Then later, maybe you realized that if you had listened to that small voice, it could have been beneficial in some way?

Much of our everyday thinking happens below the surface of our awareness.  A word, a memory, or an idea just comes to us.

Paying attention to these knowings – to our intuition – can make a huge difference in our lives. Intuition is a key aspect of our humanness and one of the gifts of life. It seems that at least in some ways, we know more than we think we know.

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The two of us – Lisa and Ilene – met when we were doing graduate work in psychology. We were in a class on group dynamics and frankly the dynamics were a bit baffling. We took one look at each other and had that intuitive inkling that we were kindred spirits.

Later, we had a conversation, and began a friendship. This single intuitive moment led to a twenty-one year friendship. Two doctoral degrees and many contemplative breakfasts and dinners later, we now find ourselves doing the same kind of work. Not the work we’d planned on in grad school, but very much related. We share many more commonalities than we would ever have dreamed of all those years ago.

So how can any of us access our intuition and use
aspects of it to guide us in life’s realities?

Intuition’s perceptions and illuminations can be tapped into when we are clear eyed and listening to our own internal messaging. It’s hard to hear our intuition when our mind and/or body are screaming to pay attention to other things. Why is intuition so important? It leads to wise choices, healthy relationships, and ultimately personal and professional growth.

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In addition to what we know based on logic and evidence, being aware of our intuition lets us tune into our automatic, nonverbal, subliminal knowings.

When the two of us had our intuitive click we found each other and ultimately have supported each other’s growth through a very difficult doctoral program, raising our families, and extending our career paths. Without that intuitive hit, we may have struggled more in that class, in our lives, and in our professions. Intuition saved the day and many days to follow.

How do we know when our intuition is calling to us?

We can listen to our gut or that little voice in our head that says, “Look up. Pay attention. Here’s something important that you need to learn.” When we pay attention to our inner voice, we access our potential to become more well-rounded and more satisfied humans.

Empoweringly Yours,
Ilene Berns-Zare and Lisa Kaplin

You can find Lisa at  —

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