Taking Care of Ourselves in Times of Change

🫶 Taking Care of Ourselves in Times of Change

We’re the ones in charge.

“While we each travel in our own direction, we’re all traveling in the vast unknown of the sea.”
– Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD

Changes are inevitable. If we are breathing, we are changing. This is just how life is – all of us are part of change and time. The seasons change, spring to summer to fall to winter. Trees and plants develop from seeds, grow through their lifecycles, and perish. Did you know that our bodies are making new cells constantly? According to Scientific American, every 80 to 100 days our bodies replenish 30 trillion cells, essentially reloading the entire human body (Fischetti & Christiansen, 2021).

Jobs change. Relationships change. People change. Businesses, organizations, and governments are created and destroyed.

And in our digital world, technology is always changing. Websites, links, and passwords change. Even our electronics – phones, computers – have lifespans and we have to change them.

😟 Many of us don’t like change and find some changes quite difficult to navigate. Yet, clearly, change is typical and pervasive, so much a part of day-to-day life. In 1967, Thomas H. Holmes, PhD, and Richard H. Rahe, MD, developed the “Social Readjustment Rating Scale” which developed numerical values to express the impact of different types of changes and life stresses. Their findings showed that when people were exposed to changes, their stress levels were typically higher. Among the many changes studied were marriage, divorce, business readjustment, change in living conditions, retirement, gain of a new family member, beginning or ending school, changes in social activities, and even vacations. 

Obviously, there is a relationship between changes and stress. Importantly, in some situations a person’s experience of stress can be brief, situational and can even have a positive impact to motivate performance. But if experienced over the longer term, stress can last longer, negatively impacting health and well-being in many ways, from anxiety, headaches, and difficulty concentrating to weight gain, digestive issues, and increased cardiovascular risks (APA, 2022).

What can we do?

🤗 When change and the resulting stress confront us, it’s up to each of us to take care of ourselves. We may benefit from building our resilience, strengthening our skills to respond to and bounce back. There are many strategies that can offer value. Here are seven:

1 – Strengthening your flexibility and adaptability skills. Life is filled with ambiguity. Often there’s not only one “right” way. Learning to acknowledge other viewpoints, understanding that there is much you cannot control, can help to reduce the impact of changes and stresses. 

Practicing flexibility involves recognizing what you can and cannot control, what you can and cannot change. How can you more creatively deal with what you can’t change or control? What new opportunities can replace how things used to be? How could you reframe (think about) the change or situation in a different way? For example, could the loss of a job offer an opportunity to shift your work in a direction that might be more rewarding?

2 – Paying attention to your perspective. Being mindful of your perspective and becoming aware of other possibilities can make a difference. We see events and our world from our own version of what is, what we want, and past experiences and events. You might ask yourself what story you’re telling yourself about this situation. Notice what you’ve been telling yourself and then invite yourself to see the situation from differing viewpoints. This practice can open space for more robust thinking, emotional balance, problem-solving, and understandings.

3 – Being mindful. Mindfulness is about being present in the moment and shifting from autopilot toward greater awareness. There are many ways to be mindful. For example, you can pause to notice that you are breathing, take a walk and observe your surroundings, or notice each bite of food as you’re eating. Seek out mindfulness resources in your community, online, in books, and on podcasts (NIH, 2024). 

4 – Giving yourself space to focus on what matters. Take time to reflect and listen to your inner voice. What are you experiencing? How are you feeling? What are your values? In the scheme of things – both the day-to-day and the big picture, what really matters? Where can you have an impact, even a small one, and what do you need to release or let go of? How is your life or the world changing and how do you aspire to be present?

5 – Amplifying your positive emotions, such as joy, happiness, finding humor, optimism, gratitude. For example, find time each day for an activity you enjoy, such as taking a walk, gardening, or a hobby (Kellerman & Seligman, 2023; Seligman, 2011).  

6 – Building healthy physical habits. Being active in a way that is healthy for you, getting enough sleep, eating healthy, nutritious foods.

7 – Tapping into your relationships and social supports. Reaching out to people you enjoy to let them know you’re having a difficult time or simply to share a bit of conversation or activity. When needed, seeking help from relevant professionals and support resources.

Change is inevitable. How might you take care of yourself as you travel the vast unknowns of life’s changes?

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. No content is a substitute for consulting with a qualified mental health or healthcare professional.

© 2024 Ilene Berns-Zare, LLC, All Rights Reserved

An earlier version of this material was published at Psychology Today.

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References:

• American Psychological Association. (2022). How stress affects your health. 
• Fischetti, M. & Christiansen, J. (2021). Our bodies replace billions of cells every day: Blood and the gut dominate cell turnover. 
• Holmes, T.H. & Rahe, R.H. (1967). The social re-adjustment rating scale. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 11, 213-218.
• Kellerman, G. R., & Seligman, M. E. (2023). Tomorrowmind: Thriving at work with resilience, creativity, and connection—Now and in an uncertain future. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster.
• National Institutes of Health. (Retrieved 4-7-2024). Emotional wellness checklist.
• Seligman, M. E. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster.

Ilene is a Featured Author on PsychologyToday!
Read her blog series Flourish and Thrive: Navigating transitions with mindfulness and resilience.

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